I am a little bit of a perfectionist. I don't particularly enjoy doing something unless I am giving a 110%. I don't have to be the best, but I have to bring the best out in me. This applies not only to training/racing but extends out to everything else in my life.
I live with regret because of this.
I have made my share of bad choices in the past, done things that I am not proud of, said things that were hurtful to people whom I know and don't know. I look back on those moments from time-to-time and think to myself
"WTF was I thinking?"
or
"If I had my time back, I would have done things differently..."
I sometimes think I should stop living with regret...some say you are stuck in the past - I think we are all in some form or fashion. But at the same time, I am a forward thinker and planner. I need to see the big picture.
Part of me believes that regret serves as a reminder of what you do not want to do again or the person you don't want to become.
Your choices shape you into the person you are. For this reason, I would never change any of the choices I've made...they were made for a reason at that time.
Remember the choices you make, but don't let them hold you back.
Are you still in suspense?
4 hours ago
4 comments:
Kinda goes along the same line as thinking that all the crap in one's life makes you who you are today and that without having those experiences you wouldn't be who you are today. And those experiences also bring you along a path that takes you to the people who are in your life today, and without the experiences taking you along that path - you might not be with or round the people you are today. One degree shift to the left or right and your entire life can change as time passes... the entire path you take can slowly get further and further away from where you once "started".
I appreciate and applaud your honesty. I personally believe that *regret* is a powerful tool we can choose to use or ignore. Here is an excerpt from Aimee Mann's song "Momentum" that puts it nicely:
"But I can't confront the doubts I have.
I can't admit that maybe the past was bad.
And so, for the sake of momentum
I'm condemning the future to death
So it can match the past."
I believe there is a very fine line between self-awareness and the seeking for truth and self-deception and comforting platitudes. It takes a strong soul to be able look oneself in the eye and admit he/she was wrong, mistaken, in error, etc. Sometimes that knowledge hurts like a mother trucker.
It is a dangerous mistake to write off mistakes with a bland acceptance that those mistakes make you who are, and therefore somehow justify your behaviour while at the same time mollifying your conscious. I do agree with what Jenna says -- she is stressing the PRESENT. And that is what it all comes down to.
We can screw up royally and choose to learn and grow, or we can lie to ourselves and never accept responsibility for our actions saying (I am who I am because...)
Regret if used properly, can be a very powerful tool for positive change. The trick is letting go and forgiving yourself, and then moving forward. Tricky business.
History will repeat itself if left to it's own devices.
As long as you're making decisions based on the best you know at the time, you can't really kick yourself if something you didn't know bites you on the ass. That's a live and learn thing, nothing to regret.
You get regret when you don't think things through, and do something dumb, and end up in a stupid place. That becomes incentive for doing better next time.
The only way to learn is to try, knowing you'll make mistakes. Knowing there will be failures along the way. Knowing that you'll pick yourself up, brush the dirt off your face, and move on as best you can.
teh things we have done in the past right or wrong are who we are today! Great post! I shutter when I think of some of the idiot things I have done, but would never change any single one of them! Life is about learning and nothing like a bad choice to learn a good lesson! Cheers!
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